You see it a million times over in online dating profiles: no players allowed. Here is a typical comment from a 49 year-old woman in Orlando, Florida:
If your (sic) a player or a serial dater and just looking for multiple dates with alot (sic) of different women dont (sic) contact me.
Players: What Comes Around Goes Around
Players are cartoons. In a long-ago age, they were caricatured as Lotharios with thin mustaches, oily hair, and waggling eyebrows. In a more recent past age, they wore gold chains and leisure suits. And in their most recent manifestation, they peacock around in furs, painted fingernails, stovepipe hats, and work boots.
If only they were that easy to recognize.
7 Ways to Recognize a Player
What if players don't conveniently identify themselves with evil mustaches and signs around their necks that say "Player"?
- They Don't Like to Make Future Plans: They would rather "ride the moment" to its conclusion than plan on, say, a date a week from now. They know that whatever feelings they have engendered in you will dissipate by then.
- They Aren't Fluid: Players have routines or "stacks" that they follow, much like a stand-up comedian following a set list. If you knock them out of their routine, they often don't know what to do.
- Selfless and Kind Gestures Are Foreign to Them: Sure, players may take your puppy to the vet--only if it means getting you in bed. But they won't do anything selfless purely for its own sake.
- They Are Bold, Very Bold: Most people are nervous when approaching someone for the first time. Even confident people betray some hesitation. But players are like hurricanes: all forward motion, all force.
- They Declare Their Feelings Right Away: Players will up front tell you things that most other people wait weeks or months to say. The feelings are not those of love, but of hotness, beauty, desirability.
- They Plan Super-Romantic Dates: Dinner at a nice French place? Hell no! Players, if they ever get to the dating stage--a rarity--plan unique and memorable dates design to capture maximum attention. Why settle for merely driving to dinner when you can tandem skydive there?
- They Have Lots of Acquaintances: They know a lot of people a little bit, but few people in depth.